Let’s Do It…Let’s Spread The Wealth!

Candidate Obama told Joe the Plumber, that spreading the wealth helped everyone.

It’s obvious that President Obama and his minions are working to that end. We need to help them!

Here’s the plan: during the coming census we gather statistics on everyone’s net worth — everything…stock portfolios, assets over liabilities, equity in houses, jewelry, cash on hand — and then divide it by the number of adults citizens.

The Federal Reserve estimated that as of September 30, 2008, the net worth of U.S. households was $56.5 trillion. For those who like to see the zeroes that’s $56,500,000,000,000.

There are an estimated 200 million adults in the country. That works out to $282,500 per adult citizen — $565,000 per husband and wife.

Assuming a 40 percent tax rate each adult would pay the government $113,000, leaving each adult citizen with $169,000 ($338,000 per couple). The government would collect — in one year — $22.6 trillion…enough to pay off the entire national debt and end (at least temporarily) social security, medicare, medicaid, all welfare programs and unemployment insurance.

Oprah helped give us this president so it’s only fitting we get approximately $1,000 each from her estimated $2.3 billion net worth. And, I’m willing to accept thousands more from Bill Gate’s $50 billion and Warren Buffet’s $40 billion. I’m especially grateful to get about $6,000 from George Soros’ $13 billion. And, I really appreciate some of the President’s Nobel Peace Prize money.

Think of the benefits to this plan — besides saving our children and grandchildren from unspeakable debt. People could pay off their homes, buy new cars and electronics, fund retirement accounts, pay their doctors and hospital bills, set aside money for their children for college.

The home builders would boom, auto factories would hum, stores would do record business, restaurants would be full. Of course, in the short term wages would soar because, after all, who really needs to work?

For one brief, fleeting moment we’d all be equal. The great and the peon, the producer and the consumer, the frugal and the wastrel. Take a picture so you can remember that moment because within days the picture would begin to shift.

Oprah would still be making more money than anyone else on television, Buffet’s stock’s would soar, Gates would be selling software faster than Window7 can boot up and Soros would go long on the dollar and recoup his contribution to the cause of equality.

Millions would waste their money, fail to provide for their futures, be hoodwinked and soon the inequality would return. It would happen because all men and women are created equal in the eyes of their God and the law but not in their abilities. It would happen because the Constitution guarantees equal rights but not equal results.

Millions more would start new businesses, invest in new ideas and in successful companies. Eventually — actually much quicker than most would imagine — wages would return to more normal levels as those who had gone through their windfall found themselves needing to work.

Soon their would be billionaires and multi-multi-billionaires again. And poor people once again looking to the government for help.

But, for one brief, shining, moment we’d have all been equal.